Demystifying Coaching - How it works
“Coaching works because it’s all about you. When you connect with what you really want and why - and take action - magical things can happen.”
Coaching is a highly personalized journey.
It’s a container - a psychologically safe space - of trust, respect, belief, and equity, co-created by the coach and the coachee, co-designing how they want to work, share, reflect, assess, hold responsibility and accountability.
Coaching is both - coachee-led and coach-led!
➞ Coachee leads the agenda, the focus, the outcome they’d like to achieve.
➞ Coach leads the pathway to the outcome, dancing in the moment with the client - bringing their whole self and robust tools to achieve the outcome.
The container also brings together underlying layers of one’s personality, mindset, and personal values - both the coach’s and coachee’s - shaping how they sync up, interact, and work together.
The coach and the coachee are equal players - they lean into one another and they also feed off one another.
✨ The coach draws from the coachee’s energy as much as the coachee draws from the coach’s energy.
✨ When the coachee brings their whole self, the coach is inspired to bring their whole self too.
✨ When the coach brings their openness and honesty, it inspires clients to be open and honest too.
✨ When the coachee is dedicated and committed to their growth, willing to experiment and step out of comfort zone, coach is empowered to step out of theirs and create the right energy that the coachee needs in the moment!
✨ When the coach is empowering the coachee to shed the layers to reconnect and lean into their core, all through the process, the coach is also leaning into theirs.
“Who you are is how you coach”
Anonymous
The coach-coachee relationship is a truly empowered relationship.
And what underpins this empowered relationship is the coach’s being - non-judgemental, unbiased, accepting - that creates the momentum, safe space, and an unique coaching experience for the coachee.
Not sure who said it first but it is indeed true - “Who you are is how you coach”.
So when it comes to coaching and an effective partnership, chemistry, wavelength, and trust are critical foundational elements for this empowered relationship.
How do coaches support leaders and teams in their growth?
Coaching is a complex process - just like peeling the onion.
In a snapshot, once the coach and coachee (leader or team) have established a strong design of work and alignment on goals - usually completed within the first few sessions - session after session, the coach works with them closely to shift limiting mindset and limiting patterns of behaviours, overcoming one barrier at a time, and zooming in on strengthening critical leadership and team skills that are crucial for the achievement of one’s goal.
How do you decide on a coach?
Guage them on three core questions -
👉 Who they are?
👉 Who do they work with?
👉 What underpins their coaching - #coachingethos?
If you feel the same way, align with them and their ethos, feel a sense of comfort and psychology safety to be open with them, then the coach is perhaps the right coach for you.
Some other questions, that some may say, to also consider:
👉 What is your potential coach’s background and experience?
👉 Do they have experience of your industry or an understanding of how your organization works?
In my opinion, however, these while important, should not influence your decision.
Here’s why 👇
No doubt that background, industry, experience do support the coach in understanding your complexities and challenges faster - I know it supports me.
But having said that, one also needs to know that coaching is #allaboutyou - your core, your behaviours, your mindset, your skills and strengths.
Coaches help you see who you are and what you do in context to your environment - your reactions and responses to them.
Coaches need not go into the details of your work, unless you deem it important.
Coaches are facilitators -
➞ they ask you deep powerful introspective questions - for you to uncover and accept something known and unknown about yourself,
➞ they help you through their curiosity connect the varied pieces of information that float around in your being,
➞ they bring robust coaching tools and techniques that support you in walking your path consistently to achieve your goals,
➞ they are also your champions, challengers, appreciators, mirrors, sounding board, thinking partner, brainstorming partner, strategic growth partner, and
➞ they are basically your unbiased support in getting you unstuck and getting you to move forward.
The onus of the coaching success however, lies on the coachee - their dedication, commitment, openness, and willingness to change what needs to change, but mostly for doing the work in the session and in-between sessions.
“ When your inputs do not change, there is no way your output can change. So, going through coaching is not easy - it is a deep and vulnerable process that pushes you to step out of your comfort zone and become comfortable with the uncomfortable.”
